Dream Journal Day 5 and Reflections

I’ve actually had a few nights between these last entries. Sometimes the dream is just so fragmented that I can’t quite put together the narrative.  The past few nights have been like this. Hopefully I’ll get some clearer pictures again, but I feel this process of writing it down will increase the dream recall. The other day I was explaining to my husband my dream journal, and we got on the conversation of how real or unreal a dream my feel.  He said “I always kind of know I’m dreaming. It’s different from the way it feels to be awake”.  While that is mostly true, I’ve had those hair-raising experiences where I’m 100% convinced that my dream is real. It’s usually a nightmare though. This point  got me thinking and paying attention to how real they feel and what that means about the content of the dream.

So in the dream I’m about to put on some futuristic VR helmet. It looks like a psychedelic version of the Xenomorph from the movie Aliens.  People are waiting in line to try it, and I’m watching the person before me slip it on over his head. Suddenly coloured lights are emitted from it and he’s having some kind of amazing experience. All the white I watch feel an up welling of fear and excitement to try it on. The people in the line are telling me that it’s going to change my whole perspective on life…permanently.  I’m starting to feel queasy with excitement. I wake up.

 

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Dream Journal day 3

Day three. Four actually, but you’ll let it slip right? Last dream was a new theme that I’ve acquired lately: the trip to Japan. I’ve had quite a few dreams that centred around the memories of going to Japan.  This dream involved a surprise trip to Tokyo where I meet my brother and sister again. Only this time we are confined to a multi storied mall where I get captivated by a Beck concert, full an automatons and gunslingers. I can’t seem to break away from the excitement. I’m supposed to meet up with my brother and sister at some point, but I can’t seem to pull myself away. Suddenly a storm blows over the shopping mall and I must relocate my brother. We get separated by a vast escalator. I’m wearing some ridiculous dress that gets torn up by the winds. My brother stands on the other side the escalators mildly annoyed by my wardrobe issues.

And there you go. Mary’s subconscious remixing and reminiscing on my adventure to Japan.

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Dream Journal day 2

Last night’s dreams were fragmented and murky. I was struggling to remember them even while I was dreaming. But there was surely something there…some kind of narrative, but it just didn’t have the staying power to stick in my awake consciousness.

I’m the type of person who believes that dreams can have a deep significance to our sense of self. They may seem a little random or without meaning if you just think about them in your own head. But when you start to talk about them, or in my example, write them down as if you are narrating their unfolding in real time, you’ll receive insights to your own inner workings. People like myself are deeply invested in what you are trying to tell to yourself. Trying to pick up those broken seashells of meaning awash on the roaring shores of my subconscious mind. Usually I’ll pick up broken bits of something that had it’s own life…but sometimes I’ll find those perfectly intact seashells gleaming in the bright sunlight.

I went to bed with a touch of despair, but woke up feeling more hopeful.

 

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Dream Journal One

Nearly every night I have vivid and memorable dreams. The content of these events has always fascinated me, and I’ve had this desire to write them down for my own analysis. I can’t promise that I won’t abandon this journal in a few months, but I’ll start now while the desire hits me.

The Night of Feb 11th. Major theme is that I’m visiting my sister a new apartment that her husband bought for her.  Its a tiny apartment in my parent’s old home, yet still in LA.  It’s outfitted with a small black and pink stove that makes me jealous.  She has an academy award proudly displayed on her mantle while someone brings here an even larger one from another room.  It’s hers but it has someone else’s name written on it. She laughs at that fact and puts it next to her first trophy.

Part two involves me inspecting the strange teeth of a tiny elephant. The elephant has rows of teeth like corn stalks that grow from it’s jaws. I’m about to try a steak made out of it’s trunk. It’s supposed to be a delicacy.

I woke up this morning optimistic .

 

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The Emperor

Little by little I close in on my goal to complete the Major Arcana.  I feel like I could have finished months ago, but my rate of completing collages has diminished lately. But I got all the time in the world, right? In any case I’ve got one more finished and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.

The Emperor is really supposed to be a bearded male figure on a throne, but I decided to stick with my female only theme.  On this card you’ll see the emperor standing on a throne made of the world, supported by the heads of rams and a barren mountain in the back ground.  This all signifies how the ruler has the world in her grasp and stands before the mountains of experience that she’s endured in the past.  The earth is literally in her grasp and she exerts dominion over her personal kingdom.  The ram heads below represent self determination, hard work, and Aires which is her astral ruler. She’s got a passion for life and clear vision of the future that she will personally manifest into reality.  Basically she’s a boss-ass bitch.

 

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Tarot madness

I’ve been working on my own version on the tarot cards over the past several months. My intention was to remake the 22 major arcana cards from the deck. After a long break from the project, I’ve returned with 2 more finished cards. I think I have about three more to go before I have them all covered! There is a part of me that wants to finish the entire 78, but I know it would take me forever to complete! There are so many different renditions of the tarot, and after just nearly completing the major arcada, I have mad respect for those who have finished all 78 cards.  There is a big part of me that wants to complete the entire deck, but I don’t know if I have the motivation. Did I bite off more than I can chew or should I just press on and get it all under my belt? I’ve even been designing the back of the deck if it should ever get printed.

Here are my latest 2 cards, Temperance and The Hierophant. I’ve also added an idea for the backs of these cards. Decisions decisions!

 

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Things that never came to be

Something that I have had to grapple with as an artist is to accept the fact that some of the projects and pitches I make may never come to fruition.  Especially if you are dealing with large projects that involve many different contributors and opinions. You’ll put your whole heart and soul into something only to have it brushed off or never used.  Stings a bit, but you kinda get used it. It makes you work harder and not get too attached to your own ideas.  About a year ago I was approached to make graphics and collages for a music festival in the Caribbean.  Unfortunately the client had decided to go into another direction, but I was pretty proud of the things I made for the pitch. The concept was a magical jungle on an isolated island where you party all night. While these concepts never got to see the light of day, it certainly did push my limits and helped me level up my skills.  See? There’s always a bright side!

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